365

365 ONE: day 229….Baby Room

Day 229: August 24th, 2012 = COMPLETE!!!!!!!

Cardio was = Walking/Grocery Carrying/Building Ikea Furniture/Doing Baby Room

Dance of the Day was = “Turn Me On” by David Guetta feat. Nicki Minaj

Improvised Acting Video I uploaded to my other blog was = “Slippers”

Anything to Note =

It was baby room day today.

We turned the spare small room that my mum had created for the bottom flat into the baby room. Out went the single bed and in came our Ikea purchases, and last two weeks of shopping, and items my mum had from me and my brother, and what I had brought over, and gifts.

Building things and re-arranging things.

It’s not done but at the end of the day today the room looks like a little baby room! Or at least it’s coming together!! I will show photos or do my video upload when it’s completely done 🙂

It hasn’t hit me yet though. At all.

My mum asked if it had now sunk in looking at the baby room and creating it.

Nope. It’s still surreal.

But I do know that I noticed myself quite defensive and touchy and tense as I spoke and acted today. I especially noticed it towards my mum as we worked on the room. She is an interior designer so I could feel myself a bit tight-throated as I tried to express myself and make suggestions but I could feel them come out as strong and a little attacking. And I could not control it. I just noticed myself change while in work mode.

So obviously something is going on inside me with this last month to go.

Even if it doesn’t feel like anything has sunk in at all.

Oh vey.

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365 ONE: day 228…Ikea Exhaustion

Day 228: August 23rd, 2012 = COMPLETE!!!!!!!

Cardio was = Walking/Carrying Ikea Items Home

Dance of the Day was = “Don’t Mess With My Man [Mood 2 Swing Edit]” by Lucy Pearl

Improvised Acting Video I uploaded to my other blog was = “Snuggie”

Anything to Note =

It was Ikea day today!

Literally the whole day was at Ikea! We left home at 10am to meet family friend at a bus near hers that goes to Ikea, so we had a proper schedule! And we were not back until after 5pm!

Exhausted!

I turned into one of those people that push the trolley around and then when others are looking would find a piece of Ikea showroom furniture to sit on 🙂

Sadly my back was hurting and my feet are swollen so they started to hurt…so I became like an invalid! I am not used to not being able to keep on trucking! Although my mum made some comment that I may be bigger! Or that she thinks I’ve got bigger since I have been here…I say there just isn’t any more room in there!!! But it may be the case since I have ONE MONTH TO GO!!!!!!

Holy schenfaefkjnflakjveajkvbjkaenvjkdarnfvjkdnvidnvnkljeafiuvh!!!

Yup, that is a real word! Haha!! It is Swedish to go along with the Ikea day haha!

Anyway, we did end up getting a few things and our family friend bought us some as our baby shower gifts…so I think now we should be set for the essential UK baby items thanks to all our days of shopping, online research and purchases and some more gifts!!

Am hoping anyway that the baby shopping can now come to an end! Although that covers the UK and we have yet to even come close to being done for the NYC baby room….which we have time with I know as I don’t come back until January, but that is the main room, so…..will need to figure that out soon too. Ugh!

Am waiting of course on whether we get this new apartment and the mortgage to know if we even have a baby room first! Then I will deal with it…or rather help Stuart deal with it as I won’t be around. Methinks there will be a lot of Skype-ing so I can see what’s going on!

Not that I don’t trust the baby room with you Stuart!! I do!! 🙂

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Anywho….

The highlight today was of course the Swedish meatballs at Ikea haha!!


365 ONE: day 227…Dream Expert Out There??

Day 227: August 22nd, 2012 = COMPLETE!!!!!!!

Cardio was = Walking

Dance of the Day was = “The One Thing” by INXS

Improvised Acting Video I uploaded to my other blog was = “Bouncer & Car Seat”

Anything to Note =

I had a super restless night last night. I mean I must have got up like 20 something times, no joke, to go to the bathroom! I mean it’s ridiculous!! So no sleep for me.

And of course with no sleep and just dozing I again had some crazy dreams! Two of which I remember glimpses of…

1). I was away tubing and on some adventure excursion or something, and left the newborn with Stuart for way too long! Especially as I was breast feeding. I mean it was something like days. And then it hit me and I was running to get home. And running and running!

And then there was…

2). There are two babies somehow and one of them is normal and the other sadly is severely deformed. He can’t open his eyes and his mouth is not formed so doesn’t open and this baby has been left, and I feel so guilty I can’t leave him, even though I have to get back to my healthy baby waiting for me in the nursery. But this baby looks just like mine and I’m running around with him, carrying him, not knowing what to do!

So…..

Any experts on what they mean???

I think I have some ideas – my anxiety is definitely weighing in on my dream life that is for sure!

I wish I could dream about normal things! Perhaps not about babies at all!! How about rabbits and flowers and sunshine hahaha! Or winning the lottery….that would be good 🙂

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365 ONE: day 226…Until I Give Birth Then??!!

Day 226: August 21st, 2012 = COMPLETE!!!!!

Cardio was = Walking

Dance of the Day was = “I’m Waiting For The Day” by The Beach Boys

Improvised Acting Video I uploaded to my other blog was = “Two Caps”

Anything to Note =

First….Happy 25th Birthday to my cute little brother!!!!

I can’t believe he is 25!! Crazy!!

Today I had another hospital appointment this morning. Everything is fine from all the tests I did, including the glucose tests that I had to re-do. So they don’t consider me to have gestational diabetes over here…so that’s good news!!

I got the synopsis lowdown from the midwife about labour and delivery and meds and the procedure and steps to follow when the BIG IT happens!!!! It was all a little overwhelming and scary!! But I came over so late and have been unable to join any classes that’s supposed to explain all this as they are full! So she was nice enough to do a brief point by point in case I can’t go to any classes and have the good ol’ YouTube to rely on!

And then she was like, make two appointments to see your GP at 37 and 39 weeks, and go out front and book to come back to the hospital for 41 weeks now in case I have not had the baby by then….so I booked an appointment for September 25th on my way out!!!

That was strange.

Soooooooo….I said bye to the hospital for now – and a “see you when I am giving birth!”

AHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Weird!!

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On the weird note….

Last night I think the little schmonkie had the hiccups! Seriously!! I was lying down and I could feel a repetitive little beat for a long time! It went on for a while and was so consistent so it had to be that!!

I got worried actually as it really did go on for a long time!! But it did eventually stop so that was good!

So I gave the little one the hiccups with whatever I ate! Great!!


365 ONE: day 225…Stress Rant

Day 225: August 20th, 2012 = COMPLETE!!!!!!

Cardio was = Walking

Dance of the Day was = “Brown Girl In The Ring” by Bonny M

Improvised Acting Video I uploaded to my other blog was = “Stress”

Anything to Note =

Not such a good day today.

Stressed.

Emotions running high – me and my mum – with me trying to save money and trying to figure out ways to not buy certain items twice, and then both of us getting sad when I mentioned that NYC really is our home base, which implied to my mum that that was home….when really I want it to be half and half….half of our time in USA and half of our time in Europe….and she thinks I’m being unrealistic. And you know I don’t know. It made us both sad. But home is where my family is, and I want to be closer and can I not make it work as I can legally work in both USA and UK, and wanted to be transatlantic as my goal anyway, before baby was in the picture….and apparently I don’t realize how hard it is going to be, but I believe there has to be a way to make it all work….and, I don’t want to be away from family – I’ve been away since I went to boarding school at 13 which is why I am here now. And my green card was to enable me to be able to work transatlantic with acting and be more flexible and it took my 12 years to get! But I can’t leave for more than 6 months or something at a time on that and we are buying an apartment in NYC now with all our money….and….my mum says I don’t understand how money weighs into the lifestyle I want and I know it’s going to be tough but want to be able to fly my parents out to NYC to be with us too if I can, and help out with their financial crisis situation. And I’m sure the emotions within me are high also because I’m tired and pregnant and scared and…

Wow.

That was a rant.

And that’s just a taste of it!!

I could have gone on and on with what is boiling inside of me.

We’re both stressed – me and my mum – with life around us that is not so great, outside of the baby world.

And I have to be strong to keep the rest of the family up.

And now I feel I let my guard down for a second and perhaps put a crack in the perfect distracting baby world where my mum could live in quite happily for now. So on top of it all I also now feel guilty. Because I do want to be here and America is what I associate with work, and she was just so quick to jump on the sad element to America and how far away it is, and how far away I have been since the year 2000! And now will have a little baby that will also be far away from her.

And that makes me really sad.

And I don’t know what to do really. How to rectify it. How to make it better. How to prove to her and me that I will find a way to be transatlantic – for real.

I have to.


365 ONE: day 224…Bumping the Bump

Day 224: August 19th, 2012 = COMPLETE!!!!!!!

Cardio was = Walking

Dance of the Day was = “Moja Stikla” by Croatia at Eurovision Song Contest 2006

Improvised Acting Video I uploaded to my other blog was = “Doorways of Spetses”

Anything to Note =

Today I got to speak on the phone with my really good friend Linda who is getting married soon in Australia!! And then just after that I got to have lunch with two of my very good friends Clare and Emily by the river near me.

I have not told everyone I am here or that I am pregnant even!! Let alone having the baby in London and will be here for a little while! I’ve just been so busy so haven’t had a chance yet but need to soon, before I have a baby in tow haha!!

So it was lovely to see and speak with three today!!

We went to the river to have some pub food as it was such a lovely day – the good weather is now in the UK so clearly I can’t escape the heat anywhere I go!! The weather just likes to rub it in my face that I can’t tan or get wasted 😦 So it was Pimms for them and some fizzy water for me! It was bikini tops out for them and my back to the sun to prevent my belly overheating for me! It’s funny as its August so I should be in Spetses on the beach, tanning, drinking and dancing on bars!! Instead I am shielding for cover and wishing it was colder!! Haha!!

It’s also funny as my brain switched to thinking how close I was to the river as have never walked there from my place, and how that would be a nice trip with the stroller for me and Stuart…..clearly I am in a somewhat baby brain mode within my denial to be thinking that! Progress!! Woo Hoo!!

I especially liked the reactions of Clare and Emily when I opened the door! It was funny! Emily hadn’t seen me since my hen party so now she was seeing me married and pregnant! And Clare I saw briefly when I was here registering for NHS a month ago…but I have clearly grown as they both were shocked at my pregnant whale bump! I also have switched, mostly due to the heat, from hiding the bump to no longer doing so, so it is now out there to be seen by all!!

We were talking about my bump (that Black Eyed Peas song just came into my mind with “my bump, my lovely baby bump” instead of “my hump” hahaha – sorry got distracted!!)

Anyway, we were talking about my bump and I had mentioned denial and blah blah blah and that I still bump into things or mis-judge and bump the bump. Which ironically I did THREE times now when I got home!!!

I opened the bathroom door and mis-judged to catch the belly!!

I went around the corner and again mis-judged and caught the belly on the way past!!

And then as I sat down to write this blog at the desk I pulled in the chair to hit the belly as I had gone too far!!!!! That actually happens to me the most. I go to pull the chair closer as I feel so far away from the desk or table, but forget that there is a giant bump in the way so cannot get that close! It’s just weird!

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365 ONE: day 223….RIBENA!!

Day 223: August 18th, 2012 = COMPLETE!!!!!!

Cardio was = Walking

Dance of the Day was = “Princess of China” by Coldplay & Rihanna

Improvised Acting Video I uploaded to my other blog was = “Which Tastes Better?”

Anything to Note =

My mum and I walked quite far down the high road as part of my 365 cardio in the hopes of a home-depot-esque shop called B & Q was still open. I mean we walked anyway, or my mum came with me to do some walking, but we did think that this store would be closed by the time we got there as shops close early in the UK and its Saturday.

Well, turns out it was open! And we had an hour till closing so we were on a mission to find black out blinds for the baby’s room and perhaps a shelf unit, and some bathroom taps for my mum to take to Greece. Oh and maybe a night light also for the baby. Things are expensive so we were hoping to find some good deals here!

Sadly there is no Ikea around here, and when she had gone to Ikea in Greece they had nothing anyway!!

This shop was huge and we actually managed to find some light blue roller black out blinds and a tap set on sale for my mum for Greece. We failed at the shelf and the night light but still got some things successfully, and it was down to the wire with checking out one minute before the shop closed!

Anyway, then we had to make that long walk back annoyingly.

And as we were walking my mum made some comment about how she had thought something was in her foot. And while in Greece she had found a piece of glass in the moving process in her foot. But she was not in any pain now, but had commented about that.

So we got home. Made dinner. Just watched a movie while we ate, and I looked over at my mum’s foot that was perched up and saw her heel was covered in red!

I was like – blood blood blood! Are you okay????

Lights came on and we were both looking at her foot for like half an hour to see what was wrong. I brought up earlier that she had made a comment about something in her foot, and the glass in her foot in Greece story she had mentioned while we walked home.

But we could not see anything. And there was no pain.

I checked my feet. Was it me that was bleeding?? Nothing.

It was so weird!

It looked like dry blood right there on her heel.

Then I looked at it again after half an hour and it appeared to me as quite purple in color suddenly. Almost too purple to be blood….

And then it hit me!!!

Earlier in the day I had had some Ribena to drink there in the kitchen so I must have spilled some on the floor and my mum must have stepped in it!!!

And sure enough it was Ribena!!! Haha!!!

It was just so odd that we were talking about foot pain, and glass in the foot, and blood while walking home and then hours later it looked like her foot was bleeding coincidentally. Ironically. Funny how that happens – when you talk about something and then it happens!

Even if it turned out to be Ribena!!

🙂

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(For those who don’t know what Ribena is – its a black currant drink that is delicious so go out and get some!!!!!)