365

365 ONE: day 255…Thought The Little Monkey Was Coming at 4am

Day 255: September 19th, 2012 = COMPLETE!!!!!!

Cardio was = Walking

Dance of the Day was = “Sweet Little Sixteen” by The Beatles

Improvised Acting Video I uploaded to my other blog was = “4am Scare”

Anything to Note =

I had a big scare this morning.

At 4am I got up with some pains and went to the bathroom….and got stuck in there until after 7am!

I suddenly got pain and cramps and it would not go away for a couple of hours.

I tried to lie down again and make the pain stop….nope. I tried to deduce if the symptoms I was feeling were real and not symptoms of fake labour so grabbed one of the books but….nope…what I was feeling was exactly what was being described as the first stage of labour. So I almost called the maternity helpline, as I am supposed to call when the pain is regular, but I was just hesitant a bit in case it would pass…

I should have woken my mum up, or Stuart, but I didn’t because….I don’t know really…I got scared and just kept reading to make sure…and I couldn’t move from the bathroom.

But I was convinced.

I even shaved my legs to distract myself between the cramps/contractions/pains as I had been meaning to rid me of the wooly mammoth legs before I went into hospital and just haven’t.

I kept saying – this is it….and just started thinking of how I wasn’t ready….

No name…

No hospital bag fully ready…well, I am sure my mum has but I hadn’t looked at it…

No, I hadn’t finished all the books yet…

No, I haven’t watched all the videos online about labour and delivery…

No, I am NOT MENTALLY READY!!!!

JUST NOT READY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I mean, the list went on as I sat there, and I thought what can I control right now and so I went for the shaving of my legs! It sounds ridiculous but that was my first step between the pains, then it was going to be a shower, then hospital bag, then wake everyone up, then call, then go to the hospital….

And I thought why now…and then I thought back and last night I really burned my fingers badly taking the garlic bread out of the oven and I felt a reaction in my body, a feeling of holding it in until I could get the oven tray to the top without dropping, and my stomach spasmed…so I was like, that reaction may have set it off…

At that moment, my burned fingers were not killing me anymore in comparison!

I was just convinced this was it…

And then suddenly the pain dulled a bit…and…it’s been a dull pain ever since really…

I had a doctors appointment this morning anyway so told her all about it and she said it could be the beginning or not be still for a little bit…she said the little monkey had dropped down to level 3 out of 5…so now I’m just stuck with dull pain, a lot of pressure, a lot of movement, and fear!

Fear.

Real FEAR!

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