365

365 ONE: day 225…Stress Rant

Day 225: August 20th, 2012 = COMPLETE!!!!!!

Cardio was = Walking

Dance of the Day was = “Brown Girl In The Ring” by Bonny M

Improvised Acting Video I uploaded to my other blog was = “Stress”

Anything to Note =

Not such a good day today.

Stressed.

Emotions running high – me and my mum – with me trying to save money and trying to figure out ways to not buy certain items twice, and then both of us getting sad when I mentioned that NYC really is our home base, which implied to my mum that that was home….when really I want it to be half and half….half of our time in USA and half of our time in Europe….and she thinks I’m being unrealistic. And you know I don’t know. It made us both sad. But home is where my family is, and I want to be closer and can I not make it work as I can legally work in both USA and UK, and wanted to be transatlantic as my goal anyway, before baby was in the picture….and apparently I don’t realize how hard it is going to be, but I believe there has to be a way to make it all work….and, I don’t want to be away from family – I’ve been away since I went to boarding school at 13 which is why I am here now. And my green card was to enable me to be able to work transatlantic with acting and be more flexible and it took my 12 years to get! But I can’t leave for more than 6 months or something at a time on that and we are buying an apartment in NYC now with all our money….and….my mum says I don’t understand how money weighs into the lifestyle I want and I know it’s going to be tough but want to be able to fly my parents out to NYC to be with us too if I can, and help out with their financial crisis situation. And I’m sure the emotions within me are high also because I’m tired and pregnant and scared and…

Wow.

That was a rant.

And that’s just a taste of it!!

I could have gone on and on with what is boiling inside of me.

We’re both stressed – me and my mum – with life around us that is not so great, outside of the baby world.

And I have to be strong to keep the rest of the family up.

And now I feel I let my guard down for a second and perhaps put a crack in the perfect distracting baby world where my mum could live in quite happily for now. So on top of it all I also now feel guilty. Because I do want to be here and America is what I associate with work, and she was just so quick to jump on the sad element to America and how far away it is, and how far away I have been since the year 2000! And now will have a little baby that will also be far away from her.

And that makes me really sad.

And I don’t know what to do really. How to rectify it. How to make it better. How to prove to her and me that I will find a way to be transatlantic – for real.

I have to.

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365 ONE: day 203…Final Moving Day in Athens

Day 203: July 29th, 2012 = COMPLETE!!!!!!

Cardio was = Moving/Packing/Walking

Dance of the Day was = “Don’t Look Any Further” by Dennis Edwards

Improvised Acting Video I uploaded to my other blog was = “Columns”

Anything to Note =

Final moving day.

It’s a sad day today.

We are leaving the old house here in Athens to a new rental house. My parents and little brother moved here while I was at boarding school in the UK and they have been here ever since. They really planned on living here for the rest of their lives. That breaks my heart. Instead they stayed here for around 15 years, and now these hard times have taken the future away from them.

My mum put so much into this house, well she always does as she is an interior designer, but so much hard work is here that we are ripping out and packing up.

I was in boarding school and then went onto college and then graduate school, and so really I left home at 13, but I still call this house home. The constant throughout my life was actually Spetses so that is really where I consider my home home, but for my little brother, he was young when he came over to Greece and he grew up in Athens, so this house is his home.

He is sadly working down in Spetses as he got a job and had to take it in these bad times with so much unemployment out here, so he is not here to say goodbye. It’s probably a good thing really that he doesn’t see it go.

I just feel sad also because I can’t help my family the way I would like to. I so wish there was something I could do to help them all. I also can’t help the way I would like physically right now either being pregnant, and that is something I keep struggling with. Both my dad and mum are not well but have been at this packing and sorting and moving for over a month and they should not be doing all this. I came over to help but I just want to pick up boxes and carry heavy items, and I can’t. I know I’m doing some things but I’m the girl who carries their own suitcase (as the phrase goes)…the stubborn one who asks for no help. The one who lifts too much, does too much, has moved like six times….and so here, in this state, I feel a bit useless ūüė¶

Ugh.

Amid this chaos and crazy, hard, sad times, my dad remains the eternal optimist. Well he used to be, now he goes in and out, but when he wakes to a new day that strength has regained in his sleep still…it is amazing! Something I have always admired and wished I had. He still has it within him. It’s actually something that Stuart also has, which is one of the reasons I fell in love with him – I love that about him. They say you marry qualities of your father….it is true!! And I wanted that, being a true daddy’s girl of course!!!

In the words of my dad then…

“We must look ahead as we are the A Team!”

The A Team is our nickname for Team Anastassiou.

We even had ski shirts made once and raced as the A Team!! My mum also made us family A Team t-shirts, with each of us as an A Team hamster!!! Haha!!!!

Anyway, the A Team represents strength, courage and determination to look ahead and fight! So we must look ahead.

To a new day tomorrow.

A new place.

And hopefully a new future. Soon.

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365 ONE: day 135…Snail Walk

Day 135: May 22nd, 2012 = COMPLETE!!!!!

Cardio was = Walking

Dance of the Day was = “Ain’t She Sweet” by The Beatles

Improvised Acting Video I uploaded to my other blog was = “Shifty Eyes”

Anything to Note =

It still amazes me that people don’t know I’m pregnant at all! As I feel HUGE!! How can they not see how HUGE I am?? Or my bump that now is there for sure?? I know I wear baggy clothes as Zoe but now I feel even those can’t hide the bump! But just today, my director and fellow actor on our lunch break in rehearsal found out, and they said they had no idea!¬† They even said I don’t look pregnant!! That’s just like WHAT??!!

It also amazes me that I can’t walk fast! I’m on a crazy schedule these days with having to go to work early, then dashing to rehearsal downtown and across town, then back to the office after, so a lot of walking (which is good to accomplish my daily 365 criteria),¬†but a lot of rushing with this time schedule….where my usual fast NYC walker Zoe would come in handy…I just can’t seem to walk anywhere near that pace!!

I am on a time restraint constantly – I am always rushing – but I can normally cut it close as I can rely on my fast walking, but now am cutting it close and just can’t seem to pick up any pace! I can feel the¬†“uncomfortableness” in my stomach which then forces me to slow down but also my calves and tendons in my legs are so tight and inflexible that they just won’t push past a certain point anyway. I need to obviously do some serious stretching and more of my foam roller exercises to ease that up a bit.

Stupid skiing injury!!!!

I had an incident when I was racing for my boarding school, my first year actually, where it was super cloudy out and we were training on the mountain, and it was just white everywhere. Anyway, hit an unseen bump and literally touched my nose on my skiis in front without my boots being released since they need to be tight in race mode, but it stretched my calf tendons to the max and never recovered properly.

Like the Michael Jackson move haha!!

If only it was that graceful!!!

I was in France and they had no clue what to do, and I did not go straight into physical therapy or anything – instead adapted and tip-toed everywhere and raced for my school as I didn’t want to let my team down. And so since then I suffer when I walk a lot – I can feel it with shoes that don’t support me well or if I walk too fast or too much, especially uphill.

I must look hilarious when I walk!

I am working so hard – sweating and pushing forward with my upper body when the rest of me won’t follow, with my¬†big heavy backpack on! I must look like a¬†hunchback bent over, going on what feels like a snail’s pace!