365

TESTING 1…2…365: Lemon Juice Whitener

http://youtu.be/HHWWi0zzzWs


Virgin365: day one hundred and thirty-five…Lycra Dance


365 ONE: day 165…Laundry Mishap

Day 165: June 21st, 2012 = COMPLETE!!!!!

Cardio was = Walking

Dance of the Day was = “Roll Over Beethoven” by The Beatles

Improvised Acting Video I uploaded to my other blog was = “Schvitsing”

Anything to Note =

Sooooooooooooo…..

It’s a scorcher as predicted today!!

I mean super super hot.

What I would give to be on the beach right now with the ocean a few steps away! Well, and not be a whale though!

And by beach….I mean Spetses Island, Greece.

And by ocean….I mean the Mediterranean, that blue clear water just steps away.

And by now…I mean NOW!! ūüôā

I again could not find anything to wear in a heat wave.

A couple of weeks ago we realized that the laundry lost some of my trousers. We drop off the laundry and pick up as it’s so easy and cheap, and frankly we have no time to do it ourselves sadly. Never had a problem at all. But a couple of weeks ago we got back the laundry and I knew my favourite pink pajamas were in there as I had packed the laundry and had been wearing them. So thought that odd.

Then I couldn’t¬†find my two preggo¬†trouser purchases – my jeans, that I had tailored as well, and my capris – which I both loved! ūüė¶

We went back to see if they had been misplaced or forgotten but they couldn’t find anything. Ugh. Sad.

Then this morning I looked in the laundry we got back last night and couldn’t¬†find my other two flowy¬†favourite trousers I’ve¬†had for a while – so they must have been in the missing batch too! Which is super sad as those are my¬†fave’s and I have no clue how to replace them ūüė¶

So odd¬†– a whole stack of my trousers must have gone into someone else’s laundry or something. Boo!

Anyway, they were the perfect trousers for this heat….hmmmm….so ended up having nothing to wear….and wearing my PAJAMAS!!

Literally!

Black and white poker dotted pajama pants!

Literally!!!


365 ONE: DAY 100…I REACHED DAY 100!!!!!

Day 100: April 17th, 2012 = COMPLETE!!!!!

Cardio was = Walking

Dance of the Day was = “Hey Mr DJ” by Madonna

Improvised Acting Video I uploaded to my other blog was = “Cadbury Mini Eggs in Hiding”

Anything to Note =

Yup…

I reached DAY 100!!!!

WOO HOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I know, I know…I have sooooooooooooo¬†long to go still but reaching a large number like that feels good! I can’t believe I have been doing this 365 Challenge for 100 friggin’ days!

Well, on day 100, it felt again like 100 degrees, appropriately!! It is beach weather out there for sure! People in tank tops and short shorts…crazy! It was nice to walk in but hot. Walked over to see an apartment for a client and then walked to Macy’s to see if I could find some luck with some maternity bras as have failed everywhere! But I forgot how much Macy’s kills me! Too many people!! However,¬†I had a Macy’s gift card so decided to check out their maternity section…and yup, you guessed it, I got super overwhelmed. And emotional in the fitting room! I was a little sad that again nothing looks or feels good. I know I am still in the hiding the bump as much as possible phase but also feel like I am in the in-between phase of being pregnant. All the clothes are really made for those to be showing off their bump, which is beautiful, but feels like that is a later stage than now. Ugh. I also got a little sad as I feel like this is something my mum should be around for. ūüė¶

But its DAY 100!!

Must think of the positive!!

Positive things:

– I am not a third of the way through the 365 Challenge but close to it, and past a quarter of the way through!

– Some big auditions coming up tomorrow and next day so that’s good!

– I have a little one somewhere inside me who’s probably already thinking I am crazy!

Oooooh that last point scared me a little writing that.

When am I going to get over the overwhelming feeling? Or the scared feeling? Or the denial that there is even something in there and that will be coming out and changing my life as I know it??

Yikes!

Just going to focus on…that it is DAY 100!


365 ONE: day 95…I have so many clothes….and yet I have nothing!

Day 95: April 12th, 2012 = COMPLETE!!!!!

Cardio was = Walking

Dance of the Day was = “I Shot The Sheriff” by Eric Clapton

Improvised Acting Video I uploaded to my other blog was = “”Reporting From The Streets”

Anything to Note =

If you saw how many clothes I have you would laugh at me when I say “I have no clothes!” But, it’s true! I don’t!!!!!!! I know there are piles of it by the bed, hanging up, shoved in loads of drawers, at the back in the spare room closet, in the living room closet….and piled on my bike!! BUT…I feel like I have nothing!!!

I need to go through my clothes I guess and donate but I have a hard time getting rid of things, and how can I do that now when I am pregnant??? What if I can’t get into any of my clothes I own but I know I will want to wear them in the future when I am hopefully back to my original size??? So how can I make that call now??

I can’t seem to find anything to wear in the mornings (partly due to the mess that needs to be tidied so I can actually SEE my clothes) but “I have no clothes!” and so I get annoyed – this happened when I was at my smallest size too, but now that my body is changing I feel especially poopy about it!!!!!!

I was like a monkey and a headless chicken running around this morning – pulling clothes out, trying them on, then ripping them off again and chucking them!!!

I look/looked POOP in everything!

Whaaaah (or insert your spelling of whiney crying/moaning noise here) !!!!

Ah, something to look forward to again tomorrow morning….boy oh boy…

Unless it really is time to sort, or at least clean up, or donate some things or…..GO SHOPPING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


365 ONE: day 88…why hide the bump you ask?

Day 88: April 5th, 2012 = COMPLETE!!!!!

Cardio was = Walking

Dance of the Day was = “Mysterious Times” by Sash!

Improvised Acting Video I uploaded to my other blog was = “Sunglasses Poll”

Anything to Note =

Thank you to those that commented on my last blog entry on Facebook about my Old Navy experience and first maternity shop and freakout (I will be responding individually soon I promise and catching up as soon as I get a free moment to those who I know are waiting for me to email back!!).

But, to those that commented I really appreciated the support and comments and love, and, the desire for me not to hide the bump and bare all and embrace it. I completely get what you are all saying but here are my issues, sadly…

1). Firstly, I have my own issues – meaning, I have, and always will unfortunately have this horrible body image, self-worth, problem. I do not think I am attractive and so constantly battle,¬†using my extreme-ness, with my body image with crazy diets, routines, detoxes, gym shenanigans. It’s a battle I think I will constantly have to fight, but a part of me did think that when I was pregnant I would be fine and embrace it. Now I am here and see myself in the mirror¬†I have¬†weird snap-back moments – where I forget that I am pregnant and have a heart attack! I am short so any weight gain is like¬†someone added a barrel of butter on me, and these barrels of butter are noticeable. Now I know I am pregnant, but I do catch myself, like today when I spoke to the front desk of my office – I noticed that I was trying to suck in my belly! Which I found hilarious as I walked away and noticed I could release!! There is no way I could suck it in, but I still do it just forgetting. That’s a good start to motherhood….forgetting you have a baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2). Secondly, I feel like I have to conceal the bump as best as I can due to the nature of the projects I am currently in and auditioning for. I feel like it’s best sadly to hide it as best as I can so they don’t know how far along I am so that it doesn’t spoil anything I am involved with or potentially going to be involved with, at least for now (or I wear giant moo-moo’s¬†for ever!!). I wear baggy clothes as me normally so there’s not much difference there (and even then I feel like it’s not¬†hidden very successfully) but I am not¬†trying to hide that I am pregnant, no no¬†no, just hide how big I am, or not even “hide”. Just not reveal or throw it in their faces to how far along I am and how from here it can only get way larger, so to not suffer any losses with my involvement with these projects and potential projects. Because I believe I can do it whether I am pregnant or not. Seriously. Would be easier if I was up for some pregnant roles – which ironically I just played with my role in the last Loom Show I did, playing a homeless pregnant woman…but even then it turned out to be a fake pregnancy plot reveal…but, should be maybe looking for pregnant roles for the future! Anyone got a pregnant role I can audition for?

3). And thirdly, hmmmm….not sure if¬†I had a thirdly as I can’t think what it is now! Great! Another pregnant stupid moment (insert drum cymbal clash here). Someone did tell me you get stupid-er while pregnant…I will stand by that as fact!

Thank you to all though and I promise I will eventually embrace the bump enough to do this soon…


365 ONE: day 87…first maternity shop

Day 87: April 4th, 2012 = COMPLETE!!!!!

Cardio was = Walking

Dance of the Day was = Old Navy mix

Improvised Acting Video I uploaded to my other blog was = “Maternity Shop Freakout”

Anything to Note =

I stopped at the Old Navy store on the way home after my meeting was done as I need stretchy waistband trousers. I’ve been putting it off and getting by with my clothes, still can but they are a bit tight and I am already uncomfortable so thought I should invest in a pair of stretch band jeans and black trousers. To be honest, I am in denial! I can’t believe there’s a thing growing inside me! I was kind of hoping to not have to buy anything really!! I own baggy clothes! Ugh.

I also have a weird thing going on – I kind of don’t want to buy anything as it feels kind of like a bad omen or something – that once I buy something it could all go wrong…superstitious I guess or I am a negative thinker by nature and expect the worst, so could be that.

But….I made a maternity purchase today…my first! However, with struggle.

I did found it ironic that the maternity wear was right next to the bikini section at Old Navy – way to rub it in your face!!

I had no clue how to shop for maternity clothing so first grabbed a scoop of things that were in big sizes, thinking that I needed to expand up lots of sizes, but they were all massive. I was so freaked out I didn’t think to look up so thought there were no other smaller sizes but I went back and looked up – D’uh!! I think I was half retardo and just plain freaked out so wanted to be in and out of there in no time!

So after that, I realized I¬†got in¬†a size 6!! Which is crazy!! I am so super fat so I don’t really understand that at all! So thought I was in luck with the size 6 jeans but then saw there was a hole at the back and after I went to check, it turns out they are sold out of that size in every store!!!! Just my luck!! Went with a size up annoyingly, but probably best I guess if I am going to be getting larger. Oy-vey!!

Putting on trousers with an elastic-cover-the-stomach-top is bizarre and really freaked me out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It didn’t make¬†the bump disappear. Nothing covered the bump – none of the tops I brought in. I can’t hide the bump!!!!

Freaked me out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I got freaked so bad I thought I was going to cry right there in the fitting room, but instead…I decided to dance! And it became my dance of the day although I have no idea what song it was!!

I also recorded some of my freakout at the end on video as my upload!

I had quite the moment at Old Navy today!!