Operation 365 Poem: day 292…Vivid Dozes

Vivd Dozes

I don’t dream
I mean, I don’t sleep
I have spouts of dozing
When I get a peep

If I have a dream
Its rare I can recall it all
It comes and goes
Through my lack of sleep wall

Last night though
Was that rare time
I had vivid doze dreams
Must have been the wine
And the cocktails called Pipeline!
Perhaps even the Margaritas
Must be the Hawaiin bartending chiquitas

They put in magic juice
And made my mind a ticking bomb
Would have been ok if they were nice dreams
But in all of them, something went wrong

Will that stop me from drinking more now?
Nope – will be drinking all day long!

365 ONE: day 227…Dream Expert Out There??

Day 227: August 22nd, 2012 = COMPLETE!!!!!!!

Cardio was = Walking

Dance of the Day was = “The One Thing” by INXS

Improvised Acting Video I uploaded to my other blog was = “Bouncer & Car Seat”

Anything to Note =

I had a super restless night last night. I mean I must have got up like 20 something times, no joke, to go to the bathroom! I mean it’s ridiculous!! So no sleep for me.

And of course with no sleep and just dozing I again had some crazy dreams! Two of which I remember glimpses of…

1). I was away tubing and on some adventure excursion or something, and left the newborn with Stuart for way too long! Especially as I was breast feeding. I mean it was something like days. And then it hit me and I was running to get home. And running and running!

And then there was…

2). There are two babies somehow and one of them is normal and the other sadly is severely deformed. He can’t open his eyes and his mouth is not formed so doesn’t open and this baby has been left, and I feel so guilty I can’t leave him, even though I have to get back to my healthy baby waiting for me in the nursery. But this baby looks just like mine and I’m running around with him, carrying him, not knowing what to do!


Any experts on what they mean???

I think I have some ideas – my anxiety is definitely weighing in on my dream life that is for sure!

I wish I could dream about normal things! Perhaps not about babies at all!! How about rabbits and flowers and sunshine hahaha! Or winning the lottery….that would be good 🙂


365 ONE: day 141…To Do My “To-Do’s”

Day 141: May 28th, 2012 = COMPLETE!!!!!

Cardio was = Walking

Dance of the Day was = “The Boy Is Mine” by Brandy and Monica

Improvised Acting Video I uploaded to my other blog was = “Empty”

Anything to Note =

Happy Memorial Day to those that don’t have to work and are at the beach tanning and lazing and having a good day…Boo! 😦

Annoyingly my dreams last night consisted of “to-do” lists and now I can’t remember what was on there!! And I know it was important! UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That’s just not fair!

The least my mind can do, since I’m not sleeping well and so having these dozing dreams, is allow me to remember them when they are important! I mean, that’s also part of the reason why I am not sleeping – the fact that I have so much on my mind, ticking away, and it won’t shut off. And now I’m sitting down trying to write down and re-create all those “to-do’s” and instead just staring at a blank page next to me.

Let’s hope they make themselves present throughout the day as today is a busy day and then tomorrow is just going to be crazy super super busy as I have to be at the theatre at 8am to start tech as my show opens tomorrow night. And so I’m pretty sure some of those silent “to-do’s” have to do with tomorrow and the show! UGH!!!!!!!!!!!

I have no time to dwell on it – so will wait for those AHA moments to come to me….hopefully…at bizarre times…..please….

Speaking of my show, tomorrow is the first show and then there are two on Wednesday so if you want a chance to see and meet  Jose Rivera, and watch his NYC premiere of the workshop production of BRAINPEOPLE then you better get your tickets fast for this limited three show engagement!

The link for the tickets are:


365 ONE: day137…Subconscious Can Be Mean

Day 137: May 24th, 2012 = COMPLETE!!!!!

Cardio was = Walking

Dance of the Day was = “Free Falling (Radio Mix)” by South Side Crew

Improvised Acting Video I uploaded to my other blog was = “Hey Stuart, You’re So Fine”

Anything to Note =

It’s always nice to bump into someone in the morning on the subway! You’d think actually that it would be ugh as I’m such a non-morning person, and grouchy, and always sooo tired. So you’d think that  I would prefer to be in my own world. And I normally hardly notice my surroundings or people I know anyway as I am always in my own world, or as some people say “on a mission” so just so busy that I have no time to take anything in and notice anyone!

But today I did look up and happen to see my friend. And those moments, brief moments, when saying hey and catching up actually was nice as it takes your mind off all the crap! And you also get to commiserate with them about the crap! 🙂

Although that’s my take on it – he probably was like “Ugh. Let me get back to my Kindle” Hahaha!!

I was actually especially grouchy this morning as had dreams I got my Green Card! Soooooo mean!! Thanks Subconscious!

What a nice surprise to wake up to reality and realize that it wasn’t true. Boo 😦

Actually my friend on the train who I bumped into was the perfect person to see as it fit right in line! You see, he is Turkish and married his American wife last year after being together for a long long time, and he got his Green Card instantly!! So of course I dream of me getting the Green Card and then its a friggin’ dream, and THEN I bump into the one person who got his Green Card effortlessly!!


How the universe works!!

365 ONE: day 121…The Ex…

Day 121: May 8th, 2012 = COMPLETE!!!!!

Cardio was = Walking

Dance of the Day was = “Spinning Around” by Kylie Minogue

Improvised Acting Video I uploaded to my other blog was = “Blue Wo-Man Group”

Anything to Note =

You know what the day will be like based on the dreams you have the day before, that’s for sure!

Today, I was flustered!

I seem to have a lot of short dozes as not sleeping at all, but in those short bursts I seem to have some crazo d-reams 😉 Last night, was crazy. Last night, the Ex played into my dreams…..which is always a pleasure (!!!!!!)

The Ex always knows when something is up.

We haven’t spoken in a whole but I got a text with the usual “sneaky” not so long ago….hard to explain really, but it just seems like somehow he knows when to sneak back in with a text or something – and somehow its always at a moment that gets to me. I know, this doesn’t make sense!!! HAHA!! It’s just a way to make me think about him.

I wondered if he knew I was pregnant.

I did.

I wondered.

And it turns out (of course) that somehow he does.

Anyway, for some reason last night it played a factor into my dreams – not the night of the text, which was a while ago, but last night…

I was shooting a horror film and was on location, in my wedding dress, when I saw that he was also there. So I would go out of my way to walk by him, or look for him, all the time not saying a word though, or avoiding eye contact, for what seemed like hours. And then it turned out I had to stay longer for the shoot as they wanted to make my face all bloody and apply fake scars, and I didn’t want any blood on my wedding dress, so it became a long process. And as this was happening, suddenly the Ex was there. And I had to face him. In blood face.

But I liked it. I was in my wedding dress so back in my tiny size, obviously not pregnant, and somehow I felt powerful and soooo loved flaunting how I looked and that I was in MY wedding dress.

All we said was “hello”.

And then I woke up.

And I grabbed the phone to turn off the alarm, or rather snooze it for another 15 minutes, and with my eyes half closed I noticed a text. Guess who had text me????????

Yup, the Ex.

Soooooo weird!

It was like his text went into the ether, that went into my mind, that went into my dream….

Bizarre moment. Flustered.

Hence the continuation to a flustered day!