Day 234: August 29th, 2012 = COMPLETE!!!!!!
Cardio was = Walking
Dance of the Day was = “Honey Pie” by The Beatles
Improvised Acting Video I uploaded to my other blog was = “Photos of Dad”
Anything to Note =
HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my wonderful amazing dad!!
It is his birthday and me and my mum are in the UK and he is in Greece….which in the history of my life has never happened before. I have spent every single birthday with my father, and always made an effort to be where ever he is in the world, by his side to celebrate.
I tried so hard to find him a flight over but I failed.
I searched for days and nothing. Everything was sold out or outrageous in price! And I mean outrageous!!! Like thousands of pounds or euros – I mean even if you had lots of money it’s still not justifiable to spend such an outrageous amount of money to go just within Europe…these prices are equivalent to flying to America from Greece, or even to Australia and beyond!
This must be a combination of fuel prices, cutting back on the number of planes they have out there, that it’s August still, that the Paralympics start tonight, that people booked holidays after the Olympics ended, and pure poop against the less financially able, like us!!
Poop I say, again!!
So it’s just a little sad today as we can’t be together, and I, the travel agent in the family could not make it happen, so I feel guilty 😦
And it’s just sad as it centers around our financial crisis my family is going through and what life used to be about – just jump on a plane and go, anything for family – and now – when every penny needs to be watched or taken into consideration or justified…and I have always hated money and been money conscious but for my parents this downhill has really hurt them. And they are still just so generous and wanting to give us, give me, everything…and since I can’t fly I know my dad wanted to be here for me, with me, to give me that, and…could not.
I need to seriously play the lottery because I owe him the world. I hate money so much but life cannot function without it and I just wish I had it for my parents, not me. I am the eternal bargain hunter 🙂 And they come first in my eyes.
I’m sorry daddy.
Happy Birthday Loon (that is our nickname for each other, between me and my dad, which I know sounds funny and weird haha, but its Loon or Loonie, or Loonaki – Greek variations of that word!!)
I have no idea how and when that came about actually haha!! But it has nothing to do with the literal English translation of a crazy person or a bird haha! Just special nicknames for each other 🙂
Can you tell I am the ultimate daddy’s little girl???!!!!
My dad wants to come over for the birth of the little schmonkie so I will just have to organize a birthday celebration for my dad then…and get him some big presents to make up for him not being here with us today 🙂
Day 225: August 20th, 2012 = COMPLETE!!!!!!
Cardio was = Walking
Dance of the Day was = “Brown Girl In The Ring” by Bonny M
Improvised Acting Video I uploaded to my other blog was = “Stress”
Anything to Note =
Not such a good day today.
Emotions running high – me and my mum – with me trying to save money and trying to figure out ways to not buy certain items twice, and then both of us getting sad when I mentioned that NYC really is our home base, which implied to my mum that that was home….when really I want it to be half and half….half of our time in USA and half of our time in Europe….and she thinks I’m being unrealistic. And you know I don’t know. It made us both sad. But home is where my family is, and I want to be closer and can I not make it work as I can legally work in both USA and UK, and wanted to be transatlantic as my goal anyway, before baby was in the picture….and apparently I don’t realize how hard it is going to be, but I believe there has to be a way to make it all work….and, I don’t want to be away from family – I’ve been away since I went to boarding school at 13 which is why I am here now. And my green card was to enable me to be able to work transatlantic with acting and be more flexible and it took my 12 years to get! But I can’t leave for more than 6 months or something at a time on that and we are buying an apartment in NYC now with all our money….and….my mum says I don’t understand how money weighs into the lifestyle I want and I know it’s going to be tough but want to be able to fly my parents out to NYC to be with us too if I can, and help out with their financial crisis situation. And I’m sure the emotions within me are high also because I’m tired and pregnant and scared and…
That was a rant.
And that’s just a taste of it!!
I could have gone on and on with what is boiling inside of me.
We’re both stressed – me and my mum – with life around us that is not so great, outside of the baby world.
And I have to be strong to keep the rest of the family up.
And now I feel I let my guard down for a second and perhaps put a crack in the perfect distracting baby world where my mum could live in quite happily for now. So on top of it all I also now feel guilty. Because I do want to be here and America is what I associate with work, and she was just so quick to jump on the sad element to America and how far away it is, and how far away I have been since the year 2000! And now will have a little baby that will also be far away from her.
And that makes me really sad.
And I don’t know what to do really. How to rectify it. How to make it better. How to prove to her and me that I will find a way to be transatlantic – for real.
I have to.