365 ONE: day 362….Mother or Bar Dancer?!

Day 362: January 4th, 2012 = COMPLETE!!!!!

Cardio was = Walking

Dance of the Day was = “Lies (Otto Knows Remix)” by Burns

Improvised Acting Video I uploaded to my other blog was = “Topple Over”

Anything to Note =

Two amazing things happened…

1). I had a deep tissue massage today. It was a gift from the wonderful Clare Mathieu – thank you Clare! It was actually supposed to be a pregnancy massage but I didn’t have time before I popped out the little weasel! So I managed to get a booking in before I leave. I’ve only had like two professional massages ever in my life…and this one was good!! Although its just hard to relax. I find it super hard to relax in general…and this was a deep tissue massage so it was her getting into the nitty gritty of my knots and releasing them with her knuckles, her forearms and her elbows! Regardless of me actually being able to relax or not it was a good massage….because I like it hard! Haha!

I do though 🙂

The woman told me though that I must be favoring the left side when carrying the little monkey as I had a lot more tension on that side. I could definitely feel that as it was more painful on that side throughout.

Of course she advised after that I drink plenty of water, rest and apply heat packs…which I have done none of….oh and have these massages regularly! Well of course I would if I had a money tree!!!!! Guess that’s now my prescription for the Stuart pharmacy 🙂

I think I need that prescription filled every night Stuart pharmacy!!

2). The second thing that happened today that was amazing was just funny! After my massage I went across the street to JoJo Maman Bebe shop to cash in the credit I had as it was expiring in March and I won’t be back then…so was looking around the shop for items for little Alexandros and a few minutes in of me bopping to the music I noticed what song was playing and loud….

…”I’m bringing sexy back” !!!


I could not believe that that song was playing in a baby shop!! With all the babies and toddlers around!!

And then, and this made me really laugh!! You won’t believe the next song that came on…

…”My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard”


Amazing two song combo…in a baby store!!

I looked around to see if anyone else was listening or had noticed or anything…but nothing! I guess they were all too busy being proper mothers and I was too busy being a bar dancer!!!!

I can be a bar dancer AND a mother…you just watch me!

365 ONE: day 361…Blur

Day 361: January 3rd, 2012 = COMPLETE!!!!!

Cardio was = Walking

Dance of the Day was = “The Secret Is” by me! (Don’t you just love all the made up songs that come out of dancing with your newborn to calm him down! I would have a whole portfolio if I had actually written them down or recorded them!)

Improvised Acting Video I uploaded to my other blog was “Daddy’s Hair”

Anything to Note =

What to write today….

Getting tired of writing these blogs at past 2am in the morning! How come it always ends up this way???!!! Ugh.

I seriously don’t know what happens to the day. I keep a book of all the feedings, sleeps and nappy changes for little A and so many times, amid his crying, I look up to see if he is in need of something, and am shocked to find out its been three hours!!

Such a blur.

The day is such a blur.

This whole year has been a blur!

Not 2013, as that just started, but 2012, or really since we got “married” (put in quotation marks as I am still convinced that we were married by an actor…and it’s all fake haha!) so from September 2011 until now it’s just been one big giant blur!

To be fair…the guy who married us at the City Clerk office was really quite the character! He was shouting everything out so loud when there was like five of us in the room…it felt like we were on stage in some theatrical show! I think Stuart’s mum took a photo of him! I’m going to check on google for his headshot haha!

No, okay, fine…so maybe it’s true…I got married…but I still can’t say “my husband” with introductions as its weird! And I double take when Stuart refers to me as “his wife”!

I have to spell it out when I refer to me as that. I’m like…”blah blah blah, that’s how much you love your w. i. f. e. blah blah blah”

Who I’m spelling it out to, or for, is beyond me!

It’s good on my ears, that’s for sure! 🙂

Too much denial talk. Over and over. In all my blogs. I’m sorry.

There is a plus side to being “married” and “a mummy”…

– supposedly a better tax break
– smiles and looks and cute little noises as well as being stared at in the eyes by a little adorable monkey
– what’s mine is yours mentality with Stuart’s finances haha!
– child benefits
– seeing this cute little creature every day just puts a smile on my face no matter how I feel or what’s going on
– having Stuart and Alexaki forever
– a daily challenge…and extreme girl Zoe likes a challenge!

I’m too tired and distracted by Friends on TV to continue the list, that of course could go on and on, because the truth is the pros outweigh the cons no matter how much denial I am in.

It doesn’t help that I consistently have dreams that this is all a dream…and in my short dozes its bizarre to wake up to find out its actually not…it definitely throws me!

I have to end this now as its taking me forever…and Stuart is being the cute adorable supportive “husband” and staying awake until I’m done to go to bed together.

What a cutie!

365 ONE: day 360…UGH Moment

Day 360: January 2nd, 2012 = COMPLETE!!!!!

Cardio was = Walking

Dance of the Day was = TV commercials and show music

Improvised Acting Video I uploaded to my other blog was = “Treacle Pudding in a Can”

Anything to Note =

What do you get when you mix snot with teeny nostrils???

A super miserable crying little baby 😦

Alexaki has had a cold for ages! And now I’m getting worried for our plane trip that’s coming up. I asked the doctor today if there was anything else we could do other than what we are currently doing – saline solution, sucking it out with a nasal gadget, and having him in the bathroom after a shower to breathe in the steam – but she unfortunately said that there was really nothing else that could be added to the list because he’s too young and fragile.

The poor little monkey 😦

Young and fragile….that sounds so cute!

I forget just how young and fragile he is…and that he is mine!!

Although in the crying fits he has, I take over and bounce him around while saying things to calm him down, and he does…he calms down. Stuart says that he just needs his mummy…and in those moments I realize for a split second that I am his mummy. Something I have calms him down – my voice, my heartbeat, my smell…he recognizes me.

It’s reassuring to be able to calm him from a crying fit but still freaky to think that he is mine and forever! And seriously not a toy!

When will me thinking Alexaki is a wind up toy end??

Denial denial denial. Or it hasn’t sunk in yet…a pattern along the way!

The pregnancy was denial.

The pain in my 33 hours of labour however WAS EFFING REAL!!!

The baby is not real.

The constant waking in the night and sleeplessness IS REAL! Whether I associate it with having a son and being a mother, I’m not so sure…but I can admit that each time Alexaki doesn’t settle and he starts crying in the middle of the night, it is a heart sinking moment. An UGH moment. It sounds harsh, but since I don’t sleep I really feel it when I’ve just dozed for a second and the noises start…I do, I feel that UGH moment.

It passes when I see my little boy.

But it’s there. And it makes me feel guilty that it’s there. Am I not supposed to feel like everything is flowers and rabbits and puppies and rainbows?? A world full of pretty??

Perhaps if I didn’t always feel sick 😦 Perhaps if I could get some sleep in there somehow!

Everything is a world full of pretty when he is asleep in my arms….so young and fragile.

I can’t believe I am responsible for raising another human being!! What an enormous job!! Who trusted me with that????!!!!

365 ONE: day 359…Scratch It!

Day 359: January 1st, 2013 = COMPLETE!!!!!

Cardio was = baby running and bouncing

Dance of the Day was = “212” by Azealia Banks

Improvised Acting Video I uploaded to my other blog was = “Backwards Learning”

Anything to Note =

A new year. Wowza!

Writing 2013 is just strange!

We had a nice day of eating and pressies and games – Greek tradition dictates that St. Nicholas comes on New Years Eve so my dad used to get presents on New Years Day when he was young….so its now become a tradition in our house to keep one present back, or a couple back, or get a few new ones, just for New Years Day, to open. And somewhere along the way we started giving scratch cards as one of the gifts for New Years…as we love them!

I have to say it is exciting to get a scratch card and do the scratch card….and of course win haha!

I’ve always been pretty lucky actually every year – I always seem to win something with my scratch card on New Years Day.

And I did again today! I won £4! Okay okay okay, so it’s small but it’s something!

We are a lottery family in general. My parents play the lottery every week here in London when they are here…they say its a small price to pay if you can be so lucky to win the jackpot…which is true of course! But I don’t seem to ever win anything on the lottery…well, I also only play the lottery in NY when its rolled over to a big jackpot, and I usually forget and have my parents telling me from abroad to go buy a lottery ticket! But, I really have never won on the lottery…just small little amounts on scratch cards….and oddly on the ones I get for New Years!

Not that I go out and buy scratch cards any other time – I actually never buy them other than on New Years strangely now that I think about it…this is all making me want to buy more scratch cards haha!

I will gladly buy a lottery ticket in the hope of being “lucky lucky lucky” but never even thought about scratch cards…

Yet, by my argument I have been more successful on scratch cards than the lottery…hmmmmm….

By George, I think she’s got it!

“The rain in Spain stays mainly on the plain”….haha!

I’m on a sugar high!!!! Can you tell??

Chocolate table is decreasing successfully! Well, we can’t take all this back to NY…there’s no friggin’ room!!! So we must “eat it, eat it, eat it!”

Soooooo…in my chaos of a blog I have figured out that I must buy more scratch cards…and that chocolate makes me cuckoo!

Cuckoo for Cadbury’s!

Or cuckoo for avoiding the real issues discussed and argued and building in the family.

Fingers crossed for a better year people!

Sidenote: a lot of people think my 365 is over because its the end of the year and now a new year, which is all grand if I had started my 365 challenge on January 1st of last year…but I was too hungover to begin then, so waited for the next Monday to come along to begin….so it’s not over everyone, as much as I wish it was…I still have 6 days to go!!!


Don’t screw it up Zoe!

365 ONE: day 358…2013 Here We Come!

Day 358: December 31st, 2012 = COMPLETE!!!!!

Cardio was = walking and bouncing and dancing

Dance of the Day was = “Locked Out of Heaven” by Bruno Mars

Improvised Acting Video I uploaded to my other blog was = “NYE”

Anything to Note =

Happy New Year everyone!!!!!

Happy 2013!!!!!!

13 is my parents lucky number – it’s their anniversary date – so it has to be a good year ahead! A lucky year….please!!!!!

I’m typing this and watching TV to the countdown to the new year and I just looked over and my dad is asleep with his head forward, and the little one is asleep on Stuart’s lap!!

Like grandson like grandfather!

They have a special bond. I think my dad reflects on where we came from and Alexaki sees where he is heading…and he looks up to his Papou with that cute little face…with awe and respect and his mouth wide open, smiling!

But for now he is asleep. They both are.

Look alive people – two more hours to go!!!

I’m the only one dancing here!! And I’m the only one not drinking!

You see, you don’t need booze to be crazy! 🙂

This time last year we had a house NYE party where we drank ourselves silly, played wii dance for hours and crawled on the floor taking photos of people kissing in the kitchen haha!

A year later I have diet coke in hand, a baby on my hip, but still on the dance floor…dancing to the sound of the TV music on, counting down the hours…

Look alive people! Lets say goodbye to 2012 together!

I raise my diet coke to you all, all around the world, and wish you happy times ahead! Full of love and laughter!

And no new babies for me!!! Haha!

Poor little guy, he survived the drunkenness this time last year…so he must be a strong character!

My little cutie pie!

Happy first NYE little one 🙂

You were the best Christmas present, the best 2012 present, and now the best 2013 present too!

365 ONE: day 357…Cry Baby

Day 357: December 30th, 2012 = COMPLETE!!!!!

Cardio was = bouncing and baby jogging

Dance of the Day was = more made up lyrics by me!

Improvised Acting Video I uploaded to my other blog was = “Medicine Dupe”

Anything to Note =

Poor little munchkin had a bad night…again…or rather, it was worse last night actually as his blocked nose properly woke him up almost every hour…so he is soooo tired and just doesn’t sleep past half hour chunks 😦

It’s also quite creepy as he is sleeping sometimes with his eyes half open. When he falls asleep on my lap after feeding I think he’s looking at me so I smile but nope, he’s completely out of it! Not sure he is sleeping though – it looks like he’s zoning out or some sort of a zombie.

Speaking of that I just looked over at Stuart who is holding the “sleeping” angel and he opened his eyes to give me the half eye look! Haha! It’s as if he knew I was talking about him and his eyes!!

We clearly have mother son telepathy!

Although I was telepathically telling him to have a nice long sleep and he just woke up again crying 😦 So that didn’t work!

In these moments it’s when I feel the most helpless.

How do you help a crying little baby when he is fed so not hungry, just changed so doesn’t need a new nappy but overtired and won’t sleep and has a cold?

I think a lot of mothers would like to know the answer to that!

I say TEQUILA!!!


Did I say for him??? More like for me!!!!


We have daddy up walking with him and rocking him to try and stop him from crying instead, or to walk it through until the little one wears himself out.

Alexaki – I would like you to know, when you get older and read about what your mum was doing crazily on this 365 nonsense, that your daddy just laughed at you crying!!! He is soooo mean!!! He literally just laughed out loud!

I would never laugh at you crying little baby!!!! I’m your favorite parent, right???!!!! Yup, I just heard you say “Yes” in your cute little cry/talk mode! Take that Stuart!

Working on his first word…Mama!!!

365 ONE: day 356…Three Nutshells

Day 356: December 29th, 2012 = COMPLETE!!!!!

Cardio was = Walking

Dance of the Day was = Freddie Mercury documentary Queen songs

Improvised Acting Video I uploaded to my other blog was = “Mini Shakespeare”

Anything to Note =

Long night. Snotty day.

Poor little munchkin has had a cold and been sick for a while but only last night did the snot finally drop…and the poor thing couldn’t breathe 😦 Up to try and suck it out, aspirate it out…nothing really works unfortunately. Managed to clear some for him to sleep again. But it’s been a snotty day….a snotty night and a snotty day. It makes me anxious listening to him feed as it sounds like he is not able to breathe through all the grunting and snorting. And of course I was awake all night making sure he could breathe and not choke. If only I could just blow his nose!!!!

Second burger for dinner in a row, from the same burger place down the road.

My dad suggested a burger for dinner last night from Gourmet Burger Kitchen down the road, as we haven’t had one since I’ve been in London amazingly! They are also expensive and don’t include the fries, which are also expensive annoyingly. Anyway, my dad picked one up for him and my mum, and then Stuart and I went out to get ours later….to then find out today that we had to go again tonight for another burger at the same place with family friends! So we went from no burgers to two burgers in two days! If only we had known that then we wouldn’t have had a burger yesterday!

Someone please take the chocolate away.

We got a lot of chocolate…from gifts from our party, for Christmas, leftovers…we literally have a table in our living room that is piled with chocolate! And it seems to be going down…because were eating it like it’s our job! I haven’t felt well in ages yet I still manage to eat chocolate…none other than because its there and I feel bad that its there…so I’m eating it even when I’m not hungry…even when I can’t taste anything because I go in and out of being sick! I feel guilty not eating them! Strange logic!

The day in a nutshell.

A chocolate snot burger shelled nut.

365 ONE: day 355…Baby Talk

Day 355: December 28th, 2012 = COMPLETE!!!!!

Cardio was = Walking

Dance of the Day was = “Me, You, Daddy Riding the Sea” made up by me

Improvised Acting Video I uploaded to my other blog was = “Baby Carrier”

Anything to Note =

Today is a special day…it is my little boy’s three month birthday 🙂

I can’t believe he’s three months old! Crazy!!

He decided to speak a lot today….”speak” a lot today haha!

He’s making all kinds of noises – they are so cute! Gurgling noises, with high pitched gasps, and bubbling away.

Who knew that his nickname when in my belly – Bubbles – due to the description of what his kicks felt like, and also in my forced denial, I called them Bubbles – would actually apply to him as he is a bubbler at the mouth! Although I’ve been told by the doctor that the bubbles at the mouth are a direct result of his reflux, or rather means that he has reflux 😦

Nevertheless, the bubbling add to his noises, and it’s just adorable!

He definitely wants to say something! And soon! Today he had so much to say! He was gabbling away! He is finding his voice and what it can do…so we get some funny noises! Creature noises!

He is a little creature! Especially since he still has a stuffy nose, so when he is feeding we get all sorts of grunting noises as he tries so hard to suck it all in as fast as he can! As he’s a hungry little monkey! One more month until he can eat some solids!

Just hope we can find this special formula, or an equivalent, when back in the USA. I’m sure we can find it, or something. America is amazing in dealing with special dietary issues and such so I can’t imagine it being stumped with this.

I guess we’ll see in ten days! Holy moly…am back in only ten days…strange!

Which also means that I only have ten days left of my 365!!!

Alexaki has some things to say about that, I hear…

365 ONE: day 354…breast feeding = zero

Day 354: December 27th, 2012 = COMPLETE!!!!!

Cardio was = Walking

Dance of the Day was = Rock of Ages DVD songs

Improvised Acting Video I uploaded to my other blog was = “Tummy Time”

Anything to Note =

Went to the doctors today for Alexaki…he is getting better, gaining more weight now, and so the decision was made…no more breast feeding…the special formula it is.

Formula 1. Breast feeding 0.

That’s how I like to think of it…the formula won.

Two weeks of pumping, just in case I could go back, down the drain 😦

He still misses the breast. He still goes for it. I miss not being able to give him what he wants, that closeness. I want to be as close to him as possible.

And now me and my freezer drawer full of frozen breast milk are sad. And are to be thrown out with the trash 😦

I want the best for him, which I thought was breast milk…but sadly this little boy can’t have anymore.

So I just stop then? I have only been pumping the last two weeks….so I just don’t pump anymore then? Is that it?

And let my boobies blow up to melons, and bite the bullet until I get through it and they deflate on their own?

Or do I take a pill to stop milk production?

Or do I slowly decrease with pumping? I’m only on two times a day anyway.

All a little hmmmm.

Everything is all a little hmmmm today.

Had to deal with some post January 7th issues and face some reality for when I am back in NYC…and it all got me a little frazzled.

Eleven days to go.

Very very strange.

365 ONE: day 353…Redhill

Day 353: December 26th, 2012 = COMPLETE!!!!!

Cardio was = squats, lunges, weird tip toe action

Dance of the Day was = One Direction songs

Improvised Acting Video I uploaded to my other blog was = “Choco Mania”

Anything to Note =

We went down to Redhill today to celebrate Christmas with Stuart’s family. It was the little monkey’s first trip down.

It seems like every day there is a first for something for Alexaki 🙂

It was quite a day for little A…lots of people, and lots at once. He dealt with it well. The car ride down actually put him to sleep…and then he kept asleep for a bit. We got some smiles later on, but some restlessness too. He is/was pooped.

Who am I kidding? I’m the one that is pooped.

I can barely keep my eyes open right now. Just forced myself to eat some chocolate to try to keep me awake, but it didn’t work. I know, I know…”forced” myself to eat chocolate sounds funny and unreal, but I’m still sick so have no real appetite still or desire to eat things…things just don’t taste like anything really…I’m just not in the mood to eat.

I am in the mood to sleep though.

I am in the mood for a massage.

No you know what, I would rather have a long ass sleep than anything else!

Woke with sore throat and heavy head, achy body…I have a feeling that maybe Alexandros and I are swapping this cold thing back and forth.

I need to lie down.