I trust you
I trust you not?
Do you trust me?
Or does that mean squat?
I want answers
You ask for what?
Are you being serious?
Is that all you’ve got?
Why don’t you trust me?
I forgave a lot
Remember who’s to blame?
Or have you already forgot?
I still love you
I love you not?
Do you love me?
Or is this a blood clot?
Day 203: July 29th, 2012 = COMPLETE!!!!!!
Cardio was = Moving/Packing/Walking
Dance of the Day was = “Don’t Look Any Further” by Dennis Edwards
Improvised Acting Video I uploaded to my other blog was = “Columns”
Anything to Note =
Final moving day.
It’s a sad day today.
We are leaving the old house here in Athens to a new rental house. My parents and little brother moved here while I was at boarding school in the UK and they have been here ever since. They really planned on living here for the rest of their lives. That breaks my heart. Instead they stayed here for around 15 years, and now these hard times have taken the future away from them.
My mum put so much into this house, well she always does as she is an interior designer, but so much hard work is here that we are ripping out and packing up.
I was in boarding school and then went onto college and then graduate school, and so really I left home at 13, but I still call this house home. The constant throughout my life was actually Spetses so that is really where I consider my home home, but for my little brother, he was young when he came over to Greece and he grew up in Athens, so this house is his home.
He is sadly working down in Spetses as he got a job and had to take it in these bad times with so much unemployment out here, so he is not here to say goodbye. It’s probably a good thing really that he doesn’t see it go.
I just feel sad also because I can’t help my family the way I would like to. I so wish there was something I could do to help them all. I also can’t help the way I would like physically right now either being pregnant, and that is something I keep struggling with. Both my dad and mum are not well but have been at this packing and sorting and moving for over a month and they should not be doing all this. I came over to help but I just want to pick up boxes and carry heavy items, and I can’t. I know I’m doing some things but I’m the girl who carries their own suitcase (as the phrase goes)…the stubborn one who asks for no help. The one who lifts too much, does too much, has moved like six times….and so here, in this state, I feel a bit useless 😦
Amid this chaos and crazy, hard, sad times, my dad remains the eternal optimist. Well he used to be, now he goes in and out, but when he wakes to a new day that strength has regained in his sleep still…it is amazing! Something I have always admired and wished I had. He still has it within him. It’s actually something that Stuart also has, which is one of the reasons I fell in love with him – I love that about him. They say you marry qualities of your father….it is true!! And I wanted that, being a true daddy’s girl of course!!!
In the words of my dad then…
“We must look ahead as we are the A Team!”
The A Team is our nickname for Team Anastassiou.
We even had ski shirts made once and raced as the A Team!! My mum also made us family A Team t-shirts, with each of us as an A Team hamster!!! Haha!!!!
Anyway, the A Team represents strength, courage and determination to look ahead and fight! So we must look ahead.
To a new day tomorrow.
A new place.
And hopefully a new future. Soon.
Day 132: May 19th, 2012 = COMPLETE!!!!!
Cardio was = Walking
Dance of the Day was = “Millennium” by Robbie Williams
Improvised Acting Video I uploaded to my other blog was = “Not a 4 Year Gift”
Anything to Note =
I had a super busy day yesterday and ended up leaving the office last night at 11.30pm, so in a daze this morning 😦 Hence the ridiculous video and song choice for the day!! But had to get things done as have rehearsal again today and then after Stuart and I are celebrating our FOUR YEARS Anniversary!!!!
I can’t believe it’s been FOUR YEARS!!
FOUR YEARS of the Stu-Meister, the Burge, the little Stu-ie, the Stu-ster!
I guess we have to thank a few people and things that got us here today, FOUR YEARS later, married and pregnant!!
Although the exact details are a little hazy…
– At Play Productions, my theatre company = without them I would have not been performing on stage at The Atlantic where coincidentally Stuart was working that evening to light my show 🙂
– Jake’s Saloon, bar = without having the show we would not have had an after party where I and Stuart were at drinking after the show of course 🙂
– Annabella, my friend = without her stopping me at the entrance to the bar to say hello and chat as I was on my way out, I would not have heard the British accent behind me and swung around to see and meet Stuart 🙂
– Booze, all night = without that, nothing would have happened, and I would not have been at the bar in the first place, or lasted so long or wanted more and thus offered to stay on and go to the next bar with some of my theatre company players after I had finally met Stuart, who was also drunk, and clearly also up for more of it! 🙂
– Flight 151, next bar = without going here after the other bar, we may not have actually “bonded” (no idea what happened to be honest as I was wasted!) or kissed (unclear to who kissed who – we both think we made the first move….I really think it was me!)
– Late, or early morning = without it being so late we would not have waited outside the bar to get a cab – two separate cabs I may add – to take us home, although waiting is an unclear word as it seemed like we may have been still chatting or kissing for another hour or so, but I, YES ME, would not have got Stuart’s number (that’s right Bucko!!) although he claims he would have got it off me if I hadn’t (hmmmmm) and thus start the texting and “dating” (haha, not sure we “dated” or ever have really “dated”) that brought us to TODAY!!!
So we thank you all!!
But of course…
Thank you Stuart Burgess.
I love you.
(blog just got sappy….nice one!)
Day 86: April 3rd, 2012 = COMPLETE!!!!!
Cardio was = Walking
Dance of the Day was = “Hold That Sucker Down” by David Vendetta
Improvised Acting Video I uploaded to my other blog was = “Vessela’s Loud Desk”
Anything to Note =
I still get a weird feeling every morning I ride the 7 train into work after that incident I had not so long ago…so now I have to focus myself from the last station before the tunnel until through the tunnel, while I am on my tip-toes of course! I try not to go while in peak rush hour to avoid that ever happening again if I can help it but I do have to still focus my mind each time. I refuse to let it beat me!!!! I normally do some emailing or texting or play a game or something to try to distract me and get me away from the association of that anxiety attack I had. But this morning I had something a little different…
Right behind me, or a little to my left really, was a couple, an older couple – I am crap with guessing ages, but I want to say something like late sixties maybe? Maybe even in the seventies? Or older!! Told you I was crap!! Anyway…I was trying to focus on my phone when I start to hear this couple talk. They are both speaking with poor broken English to one another and they were obviously from two very different countries, and were trying to communicate. It was cute to listen to them try to relay what they wanted to each other with the little English they both knew. Naturally I was intrigued. I kept hearing the woman say “We go Manhattan together” over and over again…
Then, it got interesting…
Suddenly I hear the woman relay that she has a husband. And the man also said he has a wife. I looked over at them directly at this point and they were all touchy feely with each other!! So hmmmmm….they were both married, to other people, and yet holding hands????!!
They then started to convince each other that they were both done with their previous husband or wife with the English they had!! Hence, they didn’t really say how or why or what but that they were “done” over and over again. With the other saying “Me too” as they stared into each other’s eyes!!
Fascinating romance helped me through the tunnel this morning!! Before I knew it we were there!! I need me some more of that around to spy and eavesdrop on to take my focus away in the mornings 🙂
One more thing to note…
As I was listening to the couple, I did a double take as there was a woman to my right who was going up and down on her tip-toes through the tunnel!! I have never seen anyone else do any tip-toe action in the tunnel on the subway – you see??!!! There are others out there!!
Day 41: February 18th, 2012 = COMPLETE!!!!!
Cardio was = Walking
Dance of the Day was = “1, 2, 3, 4, Get With The Wicked” by Richard Blackwood
Improvised Acting video I uploaded to my other blog = “Freestyle Gibberish”
Anything to Note =
Once again, there is no doubt that I am C. R. A. Z. Y. !!!!
Oh, I fully admit it!!
I had to get my 365 criteria done as have two performances today so wanted to make sure I was done before I left for the theatre so most of my criteria was done with me in my ridiculous massive pajamas, and as quiet as possible to not wake anyone up. I look like and feel like a hobo in this outfit! But I do like me some baggy pajamas 🙂
FALSE….it clearly does not deter me!!!
I proceeded after the stretching and fitness criteria in my baggy pajamas to then do the video upload…where my blue massive pajamas are definitely featured! And how ridiculous I am!! I sat in the spare room and stared at my ipod and then just decided to turn it on and free associate, and maybe it will turn into something like freestyling??!! UMMMMMM….you should take a look at what a tired, slow, white girl in pajamas sounds like “freestylin'” HAHA! My brain would not move fast enough that early in the morning!!
Then another true form of white girl trash happened…
I wanted to do the dance of the day but didn’t want to go in and wake Stuart up to get my sports bra as he had a long well-earned drinking night for post Fashion work and came back late, soooo…decided it would have to do if I just held my boobs to dance!! Ridiculous! I also didn’t want to spend the whole song with no arm movements so at times I maneuvered myself to be able to hold both boobs with one arm while I waved the other about like a banshee and then switched!
I must have looked like I was on drugs!!!
Ahhhh…what I do for love haha! 🙂