Day 86: April 3rd, 2012 = COMPLETE!!!!!
Cardio was = Walking
Dance of the Day was = “Hold That Sucker Down” by David Vendetta
Improvised Acting Video I uploaded to my other blog was = “Vessela’s Loud Desk”
Anything to Note =
I still get a weird feeling every morning I ride the 7 train into work after that incident I had not so long ago…so now I have to focus myself from the last station before the tunnel until through the tunnel, while I am on my tip-toes of course! I try not to go while in peak rush hour to avoid that ever happening again if I can help it but I do have to still focus my mind each time. I refuse to let it beat me!!!! I normally do some emailing or texting or play a game or something to try to distract me and get me away from the association of that anxiety attack I had. But this morning I had something a little different…
Right behind me, or a little to my left really, was a couple, an older couple – I am crap with guessing ages, but I want to say something like late sixties maybe? Maybe even in the seventies? Or older!! Told you I was crap!! Anyway…I was trying to focus on my phone when I start to hear this couple talk. They are both speaking with poor broken English to one another and they were obviously from two very different countries, and were trying to communicate. It was cute to listen to them try to relay what they wanted to each other with the little English they both knew. Naturally I was intrigued. I kept hearing the woman say “We go Manhattan together” over and over again…
Then, it got interesting…
Suddenly I hear the woman relay that she has a husband. And the man also said he has a wife. I looked over at them directly at this point and they were all touchy feely with each other!! So hmmmmm….they were both married, to other people, and yet holding hands????!!
They then started to convince each other that they were both done with their previous husband or wife with the English they had!! Hence, they didn’t really say how or why or what but that they were “done” over and over again. With the other saying “Me too” as they stared into each other’s eyes!!
Fascinating romance helped me through the tunnel this morning!! Before I knew it we were there!! I need me some more of that around to spy and eavesdrop on to take my focus away in the mornings 🙂
One more thing to note…
As I was listening to the couple, I did a double take as there was a woman to my right who was going up and down on her tip-toes through the tunnel!! I have never seen anyone else do any tip-toe action in the tunnel on the subway – you see??!!! There are others out there!!
Day 67: March 15th, 2012 = COMPLETE!!!!!
Cardio was = Walking
Dance of the Day was = “Beautiful Night” by Diana Birzu Feat. Tony Ray & MC Robinho
Improvised Acting Video I uploaded to my other blog was = “TV Commercial Copycat”
Anything to Note =
I had a HORRIBLE morning this morning. I transferred to the 7 train going to work as usual and everything started out normal. I even got a good spot near the door on the 7 train since I can’t sit on public transportation, and that door opens closest to the escalator when we arrive into Grand Central, that is where I prefer to be. It’s also the easiest place to do my tip-toes in the tunnel as I can be against the door and hold onto the rail at the same time.
Anyway, everything was going normal until we got to the last stop before the tunnel, one stop away from Grand Central. The doors opened and a flood of rush hour people got on and the doors closed. And then we didn’t move.
We didn’t move for like 30-45 minutes.
In a closed, jammed pack subway car.
And then I started to feel nauseous. I had my breakfast in my bag that I was carrying with me to eat when I got to the office but thus hadn’t eaten enough to combat my nausea.
As the time passed and I stood there I started to feel really bad and sick and faint and hot. I had a woman literally pressed up in front of me and all I kept thinking was:
“Hold it together. Breathe. Don’t vomit on the woman in front. Don’t faint.”
Sweat started to pour down me. I managed to wrangle off my coat but any minute I thought I was going to lose it.
I kept looking at the doors. If they would open again I would yell to get off, but I was smooshed all the way back against the opposite doors so I didn’t even know if I could.
And as the time passed and my fears of vomiting or fainting grew, it fueled my anxiety more and I started to get the onset of a panic attack. And the onset grew, and grew and I was so scared but I started to prepare myself for the worst. I had my cell phone in my hand and keys for the office in my pocket. I dropped them into my bag and put the bag on the floor between my legs with my coat as I thought any minute now I would drop to the ground….so I didn’t want to drop my phone from my hand or have my things scattered by the people trying to get off. I was convinced I wouldn’t make it.
And then the train moved.
I closed my eyes and started to do deep breathing. All sounds dropped out around me. All I could hear was my breathing and all I could feel was my hand gripping the rail so hard to keep me upright.
I didn’t think I was going to make it. I thought I would pass out in the tunnel and would have nowhere to go with the jam of people around me until the doors opened and released me backwards. I just kept saying in my head:
“We are almost there now. Don’t pass out now as I’ll fall and crack my head when the doors open. I could hurt the baby.”
And then I felt the train slow down. We had made it into Grand Central.
The doors opened and I slowly, with my eyes focused on one foot in front of the other, found my way through the crowds flying by me to a seat and sat down.
I had to sit there for like half hour to try to regain myself, to breathe in some colder air.
It was really frightening.
But I made it.
I know I have the “no sitting on public transportation” as part of my 365 but I would have sat if there had been a seat the way I felt.
A HORRIBLE start to the day.