365 ONE: day 177…Expo to the Challenge

Day 177: July 3rd, 2012 = COMPLETE!!!!!

Cardio was = Walking

Dance of the Day was = “Delayed Devotion” by Duffy

Improvised Acting Video I uploaded to my other blog was = “Schvitsy Coma”

Anything to Note =

I still find it funny when I have to explain my whole 365 to people! It cracks me up as it’s now become 12 criteria with the addition of no alcohol – which then leads me to explaining I was on a detox for the first week of just fruit and veg, which then leads me to say:

“….I started this 365 challenge and then 9 days later I found out I was pregnant!”

Which is super crazy!

I then get asked though why I didn’t just stop then and there when I found out I was pregnant….which is a valid question…but I didn’t know what was going on back then (I still don’t!!) – but my mind was all on getting through and I was so busy and had so much to think about, and a week retreat upstate with the theatre company  I was in rehearsals with….and I don’t know, 365 just kept on going.

I guess I had bigger things to think about.

And, despite how harsh this sounds, my initial reaction to finding out I was pregnant was a big “No!” so I didn’t know what I was going to do to be honest – this was all a shock and not planned, and interfered with the two weddings and honeymoon we had ahead of us with the due date falling on the exact date of when the Greek wedding was supposed to be….so I was thrown.

I guess I didn’t know then what the future held. I had to figure out whether I was going to move forward with the pregnancy or not first. And the days ticked by, meaning the 365 challenge kept going in the meantime, and then I got stuck as the days added up and up and up (which granted was not to a very big number) but it felt accomplished and something I couldn’t imagine quitting or starting again from scratch.

And we all know I am friggin’ insane!

It’s funny as when I decided to start this 365 challenge this year I thought about how much of a challenge it would be to have two weddings and then a honeymoon, and how interesting that would be for people reading along – like that of a reality TV show.

I had NO idea that there would be a giant twist in the show!!! 🙂

And now how can I stop?? I’m on day 177!!!!!

But believe me when I say that there have been moments where I really wish I didn’t have to do this anymore! Especially since I am so busy and so now 365 has ended up being something I have to do when I get home late and that’s the last thing I want to do!

I’m soooooooo tired my right eye won’t stop twitching!!

365 ONE: day 8 feeling GR….AP

Cardio was = Running Up and Down Flights of Stairs

Dance of the Day was = “Love is Gone (Fred Rister & Joachim Garraud Edit) by Chris Willis and David Guetta

Improvised Acting Video  I uploaded to my other blog was what I refer to as = “Fake Sleep”

Anything to Note =

Well…..passed a week so I guessed I would feel a little more settled but I just feel a little freaked out as I have so many more days to go. I feel tired and honestly a little uneasy. A little down. A little defensive. I feel like I have a lot ahead of me and I may need to have some downtime to just feel like I am in control of things and not feel like I’m being controlled. I have a lot of work, a lot of rehearsals and now a lot of daily activities to make sure happen – and I knew this would be the case, and I know that I am always busy, but ugh. I need to turn this into something that doesn’t make me feel trapped – in everything and not just this 365 Challenge – in life, work.

I have been thinking a lot about incentive and why I am doing this 365 Challenge. Yes, I am doing this for me but there’s more to it. I wanted this to originally be for something and/or someone….I originally wanted to raise funds for a charity or for my family that really needs it. And I haven’t implemented that element yet but I still want to. I just think that I need to get further on until I introduce the charitable heart to this. I know down along the line I will need some boost to keep going and I think that I just need to prove myself a bit more and get quite far, and when I hit that wall I will open it up to asking for help to keep going. I will need to think about this. Drive is important. Drive for others, to help others, to me is important.

As you have gathered, today was a little ugh. I decided as my cardio to run up and down the stairs at the office. Our office is on the 17th floor so I didn’t think that it would be so hard – and going down seemed okay but on the way back my legs were dying! I had to take breaks. I was a little disappointed that I couldn’t do better. I know I am hard on myself but I am not going to lie on this blog so the truth is I was sad. Each floor had two sets of stairs at least – a few of them had more which was odd and super irritating. I was going to say that walking the stairs up to the 17th floor could be another daily fitness thing for me to implement easily but after that it can’t be daily as it was just too hard 😦

Again, it was freezing today. Not as igloo as yesterday but the wind chill just goes through you in NYC when it’s like this. I was of course stupid enough to listen to my weather app on my blackberry and it said it was warmer and so stupid me wore less clothing and froze!! Completely under-dressed! I was an icicle. And just STUPID!

The fruit and veg ended yesterday but I had a hard time allowing myself to eat “properly” or healthy without being extreme. I had to fight off the “what if this week was only…” – the old Zoe-isms clearly tried to creep in. It took me all the way until I was at home at the end of the evening to finally add a few things non fruit and veg…but again, I am not going to lie, I don’t feel so good about it. I think I’m just a little down today so nothing will help. Not even the crap drama that is The Bachelor hahaha!

I also had a hard time being focused today. I almost missed the tip-toes in the subway tunnel on the way home. I was playing Spider on my blackberry and suddenly in the tunnel I realized we were in the tunnel already and immediately got on my tip-toes! I added extra time once out, and an additional stop after to make up for it as felt so guilty!!! That was a close one!! Can you imagine if I had failed one of the criteria and sacrificed the 365 Challenge because I simply wasn’t paying attention!! AHHHHHH!!